For Today
by DrabbleandFluff
Summary: Renji knows this day is the anniversary of her death.


It was a cloudless day, bright blue sky painting the ceiling above his head. The wind was warm today, and smelled of cherry blossoms. Renji Abarai walked over to his taicho, a questioning look within his eyes, wondering why his taicho wanted to meet him here, in the orchard. Byakuya Kuchiki was standing on a small hill under a lone cherry blossom tree, facing the east. The warm breeze blew the ebony hair away from his face.  
Renji made his way up the small hill, stopping a few feet away from his taicho, and looked up to the immobile porcelain visage that met him every day. Today, the windows into his taicho's eyes weren't shuttered as usual. Today he could plainly see the sorrow and remorse within them.  
It was the anniversary of the day she died, he knew…so he wasn't unfamiliar with the unusual requests that often came on this day, but he had never seen into the eyes of his taicho the way they were this afternoon.

"_Taicho."_ He said, bowing slightly_. "You wanted to see me?"  
_"_Renji…"_ came the reply.  
He startled…this was the first time his taicho had used his name so familiarly.  
"_Tell me what's changed between us that has you avoiding me"  
_"_Taicho…I'm…unsure of what you're asking…"  
_"_Renji…"_ again with his given name_…"you are distancing yourself from me, as if I were only an acquaintance. We are no longer sharing the communication and familiarity we were starting to build between us."  
_Renji dropped his eyes down at the ground… he noticed an ant working its way up a blade of grass. Words often eluded him when he needed them most.  
"_Taicho," _his voice faltered, _"this is difficult for me…I have trouble….…with….. words..." _he finished lamely.

How could he explain? How could he tell this man, his taicho, that he was _feeling_ things he knows he cannot? That he should not? Or that his taicho's mere presence was becoming aching difficult to endure?  
What was his taicho getting at anyways? Was it because it was this day of all days…that his taicho seemed to search within himself and grasp at loneliness? Was it a reminder to him that once there was something to his life other than service and order?

"_Renji… I have come to the realization today, that time is precious and should not be wasted….that those of us living should not take for granted others around us who breathe and…love…"  
_With that, Byakuya took a step toward Renji and leaned in, breathing into Renji's mouth on a whisper…  
"_Chire..."  
_As their lips met, Renji felt the surge of reiatsu from Byakuya that came with the release of a zanpakutou….and his world exploded. The heat, the pressure, was almost unbearable. He felt the blue fire ignite his very being...he couldn't breathe, his knees almost buckled as though all the oxygen was being consumed by the fire.  
He felt Byakuya's lips as they seared themselves upon his own, as his heart slammed against his chest…he could feel the rush, the euphoria, in his blood, his bones….the surge flooded his senses, he knew if he let it continue…he would drown.  
"_Tai- taicho?..."_ he gasped as he pulled back a little, uncertainty furrowed his brow. He could see the blades of senbonzakura swirling around both of them, catching the rays of the sun, setting off a beautiful swirling curtain of light…of all colors, and yet none.  
He looked searchingly into the eyes of his taicho, seeing something he could not quite fathom...into eyes that were usually a flat grey, which were now dark, cloudy and blue.  
Renji hesitated, knowing this is what he has wanted for so long…knowing this would change everything…knowing that Byakuya above all else was untouchable.

"_Say my name…Renji"  
_Renji swallowed hard, this throat ached… but the name came easily to his mouth, as if it had been said many times before, during many lonely nights…it rumbled up, resonating from deep within his chest.  
"_Byakuya…"  
_Again he felt the lips of his taicho, this time more demanding and urgent. He welcomed the blast of reiatsu intensifying, curling around the backs of his knees, swirling his hips, circling his shoulders. He accepted its power, feeling it sizzle in his fingertips, hearing its thunder in his ears.  
He felt the reiatsu surge and move, then felt the tie on his hair loosen and fall, the belt circling his hips did the same. He knew his taicho was directing senbonzakura …the thought made his pulse quicken, his heart skip a beat… he could not resist.  
He felt one hand moving up the back of his neck, coming to rest at the base of his skull…fingers threading themselves into his hair…pulling his head back so his taicho could get better access to his mouth. The other hand he could feel start to move over his chest, pushing away the offending garment, and burning its way, tracing over his tattoos, as if knowing them by memory.  
He groaned, giving into his taicho, knowing he was lost…so lost.  
He hesitated…then reached up…wrapping his arms around Byakuya to pull him in closer….and surrendered to the need in his soul.  
He heard the low growl of satisfaction in the other man's chest.  
He finally knew too, that Byakuya had wanted him, perhaps just as much, for just as long.  
For today, that would be enough.


End file.
